How many assumptions do you make about yourself, your life, others, work, how things will be?
Remember my buddy who I sent the care package to earlier in the year and how I couldn't believe he was thoughtful enough to send me a gift to cheer me up when he was going through crazy stress?
Well, his reality is that his wife just had her 6th surgery in the past 3 years and it is seriously looking like her condition is going to be a lifelong disability. They have a 5 year old who is vibrant and smart and has had to take on the emotional burden of not having a Mother around very much while watching her Dad hold things in so he doesn't overtly show too much he is falling apart inside, when we both know, they know.
On paper, they show like a "perfect" family. Mom and Dad, both Doctors, one child they cherish, reasonable expectations for life. They are not world travellers, don't eat out much, OK with one child, thankful, do not intend to trade up their first house -- He said the next move he makes will be to the grave yard... Modest cars and lifestyle. They own a timeshare within a few hours drive away. They enjoy skiing and golf.
They felt they had planned well, made good decisions and were on the road to early and sustained success.
Until it didn't. Neither of them anticipated the massive change in events when the first "simple" surgery occurred. He is at the point where he can barely talk about it. He has missed so much work and sleep that (in his words), if he was an employee, he would have been fired by now. Luckily his patients have been understanding. She works in a group practice so her associates have been taking over.
This is not the way he thought their lives would be at this stage of their careers. Because of chronic exhaustion, worry, preoccupation, it has led to a few accidents on his end recently. One which totalled his early 90's car. No big lost there and he was fortunate not to be hurt badly from it. Having to buy a replacement car though ate up more time than he had.
I often try and put myself in their shoes in an effort to understand how it must feel. Both of them are career driven, giving people and it slays them to be so off course. And because there is a child involved, it isn't all about you and your career or financial planning anymore.
The psychological impact of seeing your parents go through something like this and being dragged to the ER in the early morning hours, with your Mom in extreme pain is significant. Neither of them have available family support.
Be grateful for your health, for time, for each other, for all the minutes, hours, days, years that are "going your way".
Showing posts with label full stop. Show all posts
Showing posts with label full stop. Show all posts
Friday, June 14, 2013
Tuesday, November 15, 2011
Scary Stuff
We came home to some bad and badder news. The easy one is my computer is telling me I need a new battery. It was barely over 2 yrs old! A new one has been ordered.
The badder piece of news is friends of ours' daughter had gotten into a serious car accident on her way to school (university). Her barely 1 yr old Ford Focus was totalled and was basically crushed underneath a dump truck.
The incredible thing is that she walked away with a couple of knee sprains, a broken wrist (non dominant), sore elbows and a bruise across her nose from the main air bag. And a huge fear of driving right now. But not one sign of whiplash or concussion!
Otherwise she didn't see anything once all the airbags deployed. We all agreed from the pictures of the accident she did incredibly well and the car literally saved her life.
A person at the scene happened to be a trauma nurse and he assumed she was decapitated from the wreckage as all the crumple zones did their job and the car looked an accordion.
They had to tear the car apart to get her out and she was found just sitting there stunned, ducking down, covered in dust with no idea what the results of the noise and impact were. She is one lucky girl. We are so thankful she is recovering well.
They do have the type of insurance coverage that will replace the car and she has already gotten the cheque and paid for another Ford Focus, a 2012 with even more safety features.
The badder piece of news is friends of ours' daughter had gotten into a serious car accident on her way to school (university). Her barely 1 yr old Ford Focus was totalled and was basically crushed underneath a dump truck.
The incredible thing is that she walked away with a couple of knee sprains, a broken wrist (non dominant), sore elbows and a bruise across her nose from the main air bag. And a huge fear of driving right now. But not one sign of whiplash or concussion!
Otherwise she didn't see anything once all the airbags deployed. We all agreed from the pictures of the accident she did incredibly well and the car literally saved her life.
A person at the scene happened to be a trauma nurse and he assumed she was decapitated from the wreckage as all the crumple zones did their job and the car looked an accordion.
They had to tear the car apart to get her out and she was found just sitting there stunned, ducking down, covered in dust with no idea what the results of the noise and impact were. She is one lucky girl. We are so thankful she is recovering well.
They do have the type of insurance coverage that will replace the car and she has already gotten the cheque and paid for another Ford Focus, a 2012 with even more safety features.
Tuesday, July 5, 2011
Mish Mash
Because of the differing travel markets, I'm not hearing much news/updates regarding the Chilean volcano eruption outside of airline sites.
It has been going on for a month now and the ash spewed is still very significant with regards to air travel. The impact to the country is strong. I'm afraid world weather disruption is now the new normal.
My business has moved into "summer mode" which usually means slower work levels. I'm actually taking 3 weeks off not til August but my mind has already started to switch to vacation setting.
This is also the first month of my semi-retired work week. It hasn't sunk in yet. I'm sure it will by the end of July. Funny enough, I'm looking at our budget differently, more conservatively, "just in case", when there isn't any real reason for it. Natural protective instinct, I'm guessing.
We went to the drive in twice over the Canada Day long weekend and saw 4 movies. It was a lot of fun.
The amount of mosquitoes were ridiculous! The car was swarmed. So much so I didn't even want to leave the car to pee. I am one of those people when bitten, the bite swells up like a large welt and I am miserable for days. Plus they seem to love me.
So this summer, despite not liking putting chemicals all over me, I am using the strong mosquito repellent stuff. All the organic products used in the past haven't worked well enough for me. I've had enough of the bites and the suffering that come along with it.
It has been going on for a month now and the ash spewed is still very significant with regards to air travel. The impact to the country is strong. I'm afraid world weather disruption is now the new normal.
My business has moved into "summer mode" which usually means slower work levels. I'm actually taking 3 weeks off not til August but my mind has already started to switch to vacation setting.
This is also the first month of my semi-retired work week. It hasn't sunk in yet. I'm sure it will by the end of July. Funny enough, I'm looking at our budget differently, more conservatively, "just in case", when there isn't any real reason for it. Natural protective instinct, I'm guessing.
We went to the drive in twice over the Canada Day long weekend and saw 4 movies. It was a lot of fun.
The amount of mosquitoes were ridiculous! The car was swarmed. So much so I didn't even want to leave the car to pee. I am one of those people when bitten, the bite swells up like a large welt and I am miserable for days. Plus they seem to love me.
So this summer, despite not liking putting chemicals all over me, I am using the strong mosquito repellent stuff. All the organic products used in the past haven't worked well enough for me. I've had enough of the bites and the suffering that come along with it.
Wednesday, April 27, 2011
Sad Day
D's uncle died suddenly last week. He was 67 yrs old and retired a couple of years ago after a long and fruitful career running his own construction company. Happily married for decades with healthy children and grandchildren.
They has just come home from their vacation down south when he fell over and was taken to the hospital. He died 2 days later from advanced lung cancer no one knew he had. They had plans to tour the States in their motor home. The one big purchase they worked so hard to attain. It was a sad day.
The subject of stress has been on the top of most people's conversation and the concept of waiting til what the "normal" acceptable retirement age to begin living. Most times when the subject of early retirement would come up, most people roll their eyes at us. Not so that day.
I noticed a significant increase in interest about our plans, especially when we are able to talk in terms of short time lines. It's much easier to comprehend a 2 - 5 yr time span vs 25 yr.
They has just come home from their vacation down south when he fell over and was taken to the hospital. He died 2 days later from advanced lung cancer no one knew he had. They had plans to tour the States in their motor home. The one big purchase they worked so hard to attain. It was a sad day.
The subject of stress has been on the top of most people's conversation and the concept of waiting til what the "normal" acceptable retirement age to begin living. Most times when the subject of early retirement would come up, most people roll their eyes at us. Not so that day.
I noticed a significant increase in interest about our plans, especially when we are able to talk in terms of short time lines. It's much easier to comprehend a 2 - 5 yr time span vs 25 yr.
Wednesday, March 16, 2011
Catch Up Day
Most of us have probably seen the unreal footage of the Tsunami being circulated via YouTube or Facebook. Holy power of water! How worlds can change in 6 minutes. If you haven't done so, please consider a donation to the Red Cross.
Today is mostly an administrative catch up day. It is incredible just how much mail we get. I have a pile just under a foot high to sift through. A number of them are our updated credit cards (finally) as we are nearing expiry.
On a travel related note, in Terminal 3 at Pearson International Airport (Toronto), they have recently opened a Nexus x-ray screening line. We didn't know about that as we thought the quick through passport control uses iris scan technology.
So we were in line with everyone else waiting for our turn to take off jackets, take out liquids etc.
I decided to ask someone about it as we happened to have our nexus cards with us. They said it started 3 days ago and we can go through that line after scanning our cards with a handheld device. We got through in less than 1 minute. Wow. The cards paid for themselves right there and then.
On the way home, because 4 flights arrived at the same time, passport control was a mess. I have never seen it so busy.
Because we hadn't had our irises "captured" yet, we had to go to the special services line. Unfortunately the fellow who directed us there didn't really know what he was talking about because the agents at passport control do not have the machines do that.
But we happened upon an agent who used to work at the Nexus office at Pearson who told us what we needed to do, where to go for our appointments, that they were not open right now, etc.
Once done, we would be able to use one of those nifty machines we saw and would be passing through passport control in Canada in a jiffy.
Today is mostly an administrative catch up day. It is incredible just how much mail we get. I have a pile just under a foot high to sift through. A number of them are our updated credit cards (finally) as we are nearing expiry.
On a travel related note, in Terminal 3 at Pearson International Airport (Toronto), they have recently opened a Nexus x-ray screening line. We didn't know about that as we thought the quick through passport control uses iris scan technology.
So we were in line with everyone else waiting for our turn to take off jackets, take out liquids etc.
I decided to ask someone about it as we happened to have our nexus cards with us. They said it started 3 days ago and we can go through that line after scanning our cards with a handheld device. We got through in less than 1 minute. Wow. The cards paid for themselves right there and then.
On the way home, because 4 flights arrived at the same time, passport control was a mess. I have never seen it so busy.
Because we hadn't had our irises "captured" yet, we had to go to the special services line. Unfortunately the fellow who directed us there didn't really know what he was talking about because the agents at passport control do not have the machines do that.
But we happened upon an agent who used to work at the Nexus office at Pearson who told us what we needed to do, where to go for our appointments, that they were not open right now, etc.
Once done, we would be able to use one of those nifty machines we saw and would be passing through passport control in Canada in a jiffy.
Thursday, January 20, 2011
Tough Start to the Year
We just found out a friend has lost her job.
She is 43 yrs old, single and has been working in her industry for 17 yrs. No one in the office saw it coming.
The business is going to shut down with no attempts to sell it as the owner has had enough and just wants to retire.
She just bought a house 2 yrs ago. There is little equity and the mortgage is a slight stretch as it is.
I don't know if she'll want to sell and downsize. Her industry is one that has been steadily declining over the last 5 years.
There will be severance and unemployment insurance after but the real challenge will be income replacement for her position is pretty high up and not the easiest to find.
A lower paying job in the same industry may not pay the bills.
I told her that being single can mean flexibility with job location. As much as she may not wish to move, she can, if the right opportunity comes up.
She is 43 yrs old, single and has been working in her industry for 17 yrs. No one in the office saw it coming.
The business is going to shut down with no attempts to sell it as the owner has had enough and just wants to retire.
She just bought a house 2 yrs ago. There is little equity and the mortgage is a slight stretch as it is.
I don't know if she'll want to sell and downsize. Her industry is one that has been steadily declining over the last 5 years.
There will be severance and unemployment insurance after but the real challenge will be income replacement for her position is pretty high up and not the easiest to find.
A lower paying job in the same industry may not pay the bills.
I told her that being single can mean flexibility with job location. As much as she may not wish to move, she can, if the right opportunity comes up.
Friday, December 31, 2010
Sad News
We received some sad news this morning.
A colleague of D's died last night at age 40. He had been battling cancer for the last few years and had been given a clean bill of health.
Unfortunately it came back with a vengeance and things moved back too quickly. He is survived by his wife and 2 kids, both under the age of 10.
I haven't made it to my 40th birthday yet and when you hear of news like this, it really makes you think about how you are spending your time and how you are treating others along the way.
We will make it home in time for the funeral and visitation.
This is a reminder for all of us to live while we still can. Wishing you all a joyful and prosperous 2011.
A colleague of D's died last night at age 40. He had been battling cancer for the last few years and had been given a clean bill of health.
Unfortunately it came back with a vengeance and things moved back too quickly. He is survived by his wife and 2 kids, both under the age of 10.
I haven't made it to my 40th birthday yet and when you hear of news like this, it really makes you think about how you are spending your time and how you are treating others along the way.
We will make it home in time for the funeral and visitation.
This is a reminder for all of us to live while we still can. Wishing you all a joyful and prosperous 2011.
Friday, October 15, 2010
Don't Use This!
The office photocopier for all intents and purposes is "done". It needs a couple of parts when you add in labour isn't completely worth it. What's holding me back is a couple of new toners and it is a shame to me to not use them. Maybe they can be sold, I'm not sure.
Those of you who also own an old house where the wooden windows open, you'd likely know all about weatherstripping. We decided to use a caulking like product this year that is supposed to peel off easily once it is dry.
What it didn't say was how much it would stink. Holey smokes, it nearly burned a hole in my throat and nose. Vanilla smell my behind! I had D tear that stuff off after midnight because I couldn't breath. We are going back to using foam tape and returning the remaining 2 tubes.
Those of you who also own an old house where the wooden windows open, you'd likely know all about weatherstripping. We decided to use a caulking like product this year that is supposed to peel off easily once it is dry.
What it didn't say was how much it would stink. Holey smokes, it nearly burned a hole in my throat and nose. Vanilla smell my behind! I had D tear that stuff off after midnight because I couldn't breath. We are going back to using foam tape and returning the remaining 2 tubes.
Wednesday, September 29, 2010
Tough Times
A new acquaintance of ours revealed to me yesterday why they have been absent from our get togethers over the last couple of months.
Her husband lost his job of 12 years. They have 2 young school age children and she is a stay at home mom.
Then the going was good, it was really good. When there was 2 incomes, they have been able to afford to manage 3 properties, total real estate holdings close to 1 million with one being an income property.
When 2 incomes became one once the kids got here, things got tighter but still manageable.
She didn't mention whether they would have to sell anything to keep things going. I could see the exhaustion in her eyes.
The good news is her husband is kind of an expert in his field and they are confident he will be employed again soon.
There wasn't much I could say that she didn't already explore. She just wanted someone to listen.
Her husband lost his job of 12 years. They have 2 young school age children and she is a stay at home mom.
Then the going was good, it was really good. When there was 2 incomes, they have been able to afford to manage 3 properties, total real estate holdings close to 1 million with one being an income property.
When 2 incomes became one once the kids got here, things got tighter but still manageable.
She didn't mention whether they would have to sell anything to keep things going. I could see the exhaustion in her eyes.
The good news is her husband is kind of an expert in his field and they are confident he will be employed again soon.
There wasn't much I could say that she didn't already explore. She just wanted someone to listen.
Tuesday, March 2, 2010
Enough of the Talk, Reality Hits
Remember all the posts and talk about preparedness last year? Well, the rubber hit the road for us yesterday in the form of D being told that he and others are being downsized in a month.
When I got the call, I immediately got into my triage mode whereby I become very quiet and serious, ready to go. D deals with things differently and likes to make light of things when really, I know he is fuming mad and in shock.
I was waiting for him just to come out and say how he felt -- but he is a guy and I knew that underneath all the "it's ok", there is emotion there waiting to come out. It is the first time this has happened to him and I know he was hoping to go through his whole working life without experiencing this.
Meanwhile, I worked on my spreadsheet and made a list of things to discuss. We plan our life/lifestyle based on the idea that we are each other's back up. That one of us can carry the load should the other be unable to continue for any reason. This tests just how accurate we are in our planning.
So, I had to reacquaint myself with the numbers that D is responsible for, plug them into my spreadsheet after finding out just how long his regular pay, severance, bonus (yes, he did get one) will last. The point it runs out (assuming no new job yet), is the switchover point for us. I will takeover then.
It looks like it will be mid May/early June, depending on how much the tax man takes from the severance. He has been with the company 3 years and got 8 weeks as severance. I believe it to be really good as I think they only have to pay 1 week for every year of service.
Other steps we are taking to hedge ourselves include changes to our mortgage payments. I have decided to temporarily stop mortgage prepayments and keep the money as cash. Also, as I get paid bi-monthly vs. D's bi weekly, I've changed our mortgage frequency to bi-monthly just in case it goes that far.
That move increases our amortization by 5 months as it eliminates the extra month of payments but I'm hoping this will get switched back in no time. I'd rather be over prepared and not need it than be under and have to draw from our non registered savings. Don't want to do that.
As I don't like to leave any stone unturned, we also talked about cancelling upcoming trips. After looking at cancellation fees and penalties, it looks like the money we get back may not be worth it. We have time to revisit it later. My trip to Iceland is very soon and too late to change. Hate leaving at this time even though D says he is fine with it.
We went as far as projecting what we would do a year from now should things stay the same. Technically, as long as I can hang on, things would be ok. D is also learning about unemployment insurance and what that's about.
Our trump card is the cottage. This would be a good time to put it up for sale and interest rates are low and people would want to have it ready for the season. It is paid for and if sold, we would be mortgage free. We aren't ready to let it go yet, so we will revisit this option in a year, if necessary. And selling the ski condo is, at least right now, non negotiable for either of us.
Meanwhile D has applied for a number of positions and hopes to be called for interviews shortly. Also, should he find another job within his current company before his termination date, he forfeits his severance as things would just continue on as if "nothing happened".
When I got the call, I immediately got into my triage mode whereby I become very quiet and serious, ready to go. D deals with things differently and likes to make light of things when really, I know he is fuming mad and in shock.
I was waiting for him just to come out and say how he felt -- but he is a guy and I knew that underneath all the "it's ok", there is emotion there waiting to come out. It is the first time this has happened to him and I know he was hoping to go through his whole working life without experiencing this.
Meanwhile, I worked on my spreadsheet and made a list of things to discuss. We plan our life/lifestyle based on the idea that we are each other's back up. That one of us can carry the load should the other be unable to continue for any reason. This tests just how accurate we are in our planning.
So, I had to reacquaint myself with the numbers that D is responsible for, plug them into my spreadsheet after finding out just how long his regular pay, severance, bonus (yes, he did get one) will last. The point it runs out (assuming no new job yet), is the switchover point for us. I will takeover then.
It looks like it will be mid May/early June, depending on how much the tax man takes from the severance. He has been with the company 3 years and got 8 weeks as severance. I believe it to be really good as I think they only have to pay 1 week for every year of service.
Other steps we are taking to hedge ourselves include changes to our mortgage payments. I have decided to temporarily stop mortgage prepayments and keep the money as cash. Also, as I get paid bi-monthly vs. D's bi weekly, I've changed our mortgage frequency to bi-monthly just in case it goes that far.
That move increases our amortization by 5 months as it eliminates the extra month of payments but I'm hoping this will get switched back in no time. I'd rather be over prepared and not need it than be under and have to draw from our non registered savings. Don't want to do that.
As I don't like to leave any stone unturned, we also talked about cancelling upcoming trips. After looking at cancellation fees and penalties, it looks like the money we get back may not be worth it. We have time to revisit it later. My trip to Iceland is very soon and too late to change. Hate leaving at this time even though D says he is fine with it.
We went as far as projecting what we would do a year from now should things stay the same. Technically, as long as I can hang on, things would be ok. D is also learning about unemployment insurance and what that's about.
Our trump card is the cottage. This would be a good time to put it up for sale and interest rates are low and people would want to have it ready for the season. It is paid for and if sold, we would be mortgage free. We aren't ready to let it go yet, so we will revisit this option in a year, if necessary. And selling the ski condo is, at least right now, non negotiable for either of us.
Meanwhile D has applied for a number of positions and hopes to be called for interviews shortly. Also, should he find another job within his current company before his termination date, he forfeits his severance as things would just continue on as if "nothing happened".
Saturday, February 27, 2010
Chile
My heart is going out to the people of Chile.
Mother nature has been tough on a lot of people and places already this year.
Mother nature has been tough on a lot of people and places already this year.
Wednesday, January 13, 2010
Haiti
I have been fortunate to not yet have to deal with any massive emergency relating to housing, finances or health, unlike the people of Haiti.
When one is uprooted with barely anything reasonable for basic survival, nothing else is really that important anymore.
When one is uprooted with barely anything reasonable for basic survival, nothing else is really that important anymore.
Tuesday, January 5, 2010
Great People
On my flight home, I encountered some neat people. One was a member of our country's freestyle Olympic team (very cool!). The other was a great lady that sat beside me.
I love meeting people who are inspirational. I love the glimmer in peoples' eyes as they are recounting a great experience. It gets me excited about life.
The post holiday seat sales are started. D hasn't bought his flight back out west yet and today's news is going to seal the deal for him. We have not seen prices like this before. It gets my mind just whirling with the possibilities.
My favorite driver was the one who took us to the airport. It was nice being told that he was hoping to bump into us again. He went to Alaska a couple of weeks after I was there last May and loved it too. He and his wife are going to tackle Asia next.
My solo trip is finalized. It will be Iceland in the spring. I hope to see the Aurora there. My papers for the apartment I'm renting came through today. Once I send money, it's mine for the duration. I'm trying to talk D into coming but he has a guys' ski trip he is saving up for and will not be able to swing it.
I'm doing my best to not think about the shear number of hours I will be spending at airports to get to Reykjavik. I'm seriously considering getting a netbook after all.
I love meeting people who are inspirational. I love the glimmer in peoples' eyes as they are recounting a great experience. It gets me excited about life.
The post holiday seat sales are started. D hasn't bought his flight back out west yet and today's news is going to seal the deal for him. We have not seen prices like this before. It gets my mind just whirling with the possibilities.
My favorite driver was the one who took us to the airport. It was nice being told that he was hoping to bump into us again. He went to Alaska a couple of weeks after I was there last May and loved it too. He and his wife are going to tackle Asia next.
My solo trip is finalized. It will be Iceland in the spring. I hope to see the Aurora there. My papers for the apartment I'm renting came through today. Once I send money, it's mine for the duration. I'm trying to talk D into coming but he has a guys' ski trip he is saving up for and will not be able to swing it.
I'm doing my best to not think about the shear number of hours I will be spending at airports to get to Reykjavik. I'm seriously considering getting a netbook after all.
Saturday, November 21, 2009
Negative People
One of my all time pet peeves are people who do not seem capable of being happy when they see someone else succeed. Often, they can be downright angry about it.
Why?
Why?
- Because how the success was achieved didn't fit into their idea of how "it ought to" have happen.
- Because they feel the person didn't work "hard enough" to deserve it.
- Because that person isn't as talented as the one who is resentful.
- Because the angry one is so much better and the world just doesn't know it yet.
- Because that person was lucky.
- Because the world is crazy for buying into this person's ability when they don't really have any.
- Because they are jealous.
- Because they are suffering inside and out and can barely make ends meet.
- Because they don't like themselves.
- Because they didn't take a chance.
- Because it is easier to make excuses than to go out and do it.
- Because they are scare to fail.
- Because they have too many useless restrictive rules for their life.
- Because they set themselves up for failure.
- Because they are not ready to be successful.
- Because they feel the world owes them.
Tuesday, November 10, 2009
Recovery Costs
Care giving is tough. It can be draining mentally and emotionally. I was tired out after yesterday's visit with my aunt. Her temporary circumstance opened my eyes on the reality of how much care is needed post surgery.
She isn't able to lean forward, lift or bend down. Therefore she cannot bath herself or reach for a pot from her upper or lower cupboards. She cannot run a vacuum or go up the stairs or take the garbage out. Thus the temporary bedroom in the living room.
Canada has good social services. So she is getting help every few days for bathing and rehab. There is a program call "Meals on Wheels" that will deliver one full meal from Monday to Friday for a fee of $7.50 a day. She still needs to fend for herself for the other 2 meals of the day and on weekends.
It is very understandable that she is very frustrated and lonely. Having been widowed for the last 55 years and not knowing how to drive, her life is quite dependent on others as it is. Now it is way worse and embarrassing. There are no family members in the same city as her. The closest is 45 mins away and I am 1 hr 15 mins away.
Had it not been for the surgery recovery, she is otherwise spry and limber for a 85 yr old woman. She cannot wait to heal up and get back to herself again.
Yesterday's visit forced me to think about elder care and the cost of it. If she was willing to, she could pay someone to clean her home and do personal care on a daily basis. Also, have prepared meals delivered for the rest of the time if she did not wish to cook. All of these services cost money and it adds up quickly.
Luckily for her, a retirement residence/nursing home isn't needed. Should it become needed, they can be really expensive, upwards of $4500 per month per couple for full meals and activities.
We do have government subsidized nursing care housing but they are run like a hospital and are for people who have no income and cannot care for themselves. It seems like that the more independent you are, the more it costs to move into a "lifestyle community".
She isn't able to lean forward, lift or bend down. Therefore she cannot bath herself or reach for a pot from her upper or lower cupboards. She cannot run a vacuum or go up the stairs or take the garbage out. Thus the temporary bedroom in the living room.
Canada has good social services. So she is getting help every few days for bathing and rehab. There is a program call "Meals on Wheels" that will deliver one full meal from Monday to Friday for a fee of $7.50 a day. She still needs to fend for herself for the other 2 meals of the day and on weekends.
It is very understandable that she is very frustrated and lonely. Having been widowed for the last 55 years and not knowing how to drive, her life is quite dependent on others as it is. Now it is way worse and embarrassing. There are no family members in the same city as her. The closest is 45 mins away and I am 1 hr 15 mins away.
Had it not been for the surgery recovery, she is otherwise spry and limber for a 85 yr old woman. She cannot wait to heal up and get back to herself again.
Yesterday's visit forced me to think about elder care and the cost of it. If she was willing to, she could pay someone to clean her home and do personal care on a daily basis. Also, have prepared meals delivered for the rest of the time if she did not wish to cook. All of these services cost money and it adds up quickly.
Luckily for her, a retirement residence/nursing home isn't needed. Should it become needed, they can be really expensive, upwards of $4500 per month per couple for full meals and activities.
We do have government subsidized nursing care housing but they are run like a hospital and are for people who have no income and cannot care for themselves. It seems like that the more independent you are, the more it costs to move into a "lifestyle community".
Friday, July 31, 2009
Crazy Insurance Brokers
In April, we switched insurers for the cottage in order to be better covered for that property. We got 3 quotes and went for the one whom we thought would do the best job.
It is almost 4 months later and we have decided to ditch Company A for Company B because A has demonstrated a lack of customer service (2 emails and 2 phone call messages before responding) and has suddenly shown their pushy sales side...phone calls at dinner time, playing hardball, pretending they have the control when they hadn't bothered to review our file before spewing off incorrect facts about our cottage... not remembering who is paying who...
They have admitted to using their own unique table to determine insured amount (26% higher) vs. what the insurance company uses and have refused to change the insured amount.
We are going with another broker who sells the same insurance even though Company A told D that we would not be able to buy the same policy because they have a monopoly on it in Canada. Not true.
The new insurance is in effect today and personally, I am happy to pay an administrative fee that goes with cancellation of a policy just to be rid of Company A. It has become a matter of principle.
It is almost 4 months later and we have decided to ditch Company A for Company B because A has demonstrated a lack of customer service (2 emails and 2 phone call messages before responding) and has suddenly shown their pushy sales side...phone calls at dinner time, playing hardball, pretending they have the control when they hadn't bothered to review our file before spewing off incorrect facts about our cottage... not remembering who is paying who...
They have admitted to using their own unique table to determine insured amount (26% higher) vs. what the insurance company uses and have refused to change the insured amount.
We are going with another broker who sells the same insurance even though Company A told D that we would not be able to buy the same policy because they have a monopoly on it in Canada. Not true.
The new insurance is in effect today and personally, I am happy to pay an administrative fee that goes with cancellation of a policy just to be rid of Company A. It has become a matter of principle.
Friday, June 12, 2009
Finally Over
The dream is over. I have decided to finally let go of my Newfoundland ownership quest.
It came about a few days ago when I was sitting peacefully in my sun room. I was feeling very content with how things were going in our lives and how well the spreadsheets and retirement planning was situated. Things are balanced well right now.
I realized that I did not wish to mess with it. That I did not want anymore, to expend the energy to search, view, inquire, set up accounts, buy stuff to enable this dream of mine to come to life.
I realize that each step is a stepping stone towards or away from things and perhaps my recent foray into selling stuff was the tipping point I needed to see that I do not want to buy anything that would mean buying even more stuff.
Being hugely fond of due diligence, I had already made contact with the insurance broker who would be providing the home insurance, the local township offices about taxes, water, garbage services, local plumber about closing down the place when I'm not there, landscapers to maintain the property so the neighbours wouldn't hate us, furniture stores who offer delivery, carpet stores to replace old carpeting, cleaners who would be willing to provide seasonal service, a lawyer to handle the closing and the local utilities about account start up fees. etc. etc. etc.
To top that, I had started manipulating the spreadsheets to incorporate all these new line items as part of our yearly life. That was the straw that broke the camel's back. It was too much. For years, I loved the thought of doing it and playing around with the possibilities and felt I had the capacity to manage it, but not now.
D and I was supposed to leave early tomorrow morning for Newfoundland.
My Realtor was very understanding and joked that he had ordered a week of great weather in anticipation of our arrival. The proprietor of the B & B I stayed at during my last trip was also very kind and did not charge a last minute cancellation fee. I would have happily paid it but I think he knows I'll be back for a real vacation sometime in the future.
We have decided to head up to the cottage instead to enjoy what we already have. Back end of next week.
It came about a few days ago when I was sitting peacefully in my sun room. I was feeling very content with how things were going in our lives and how well the spreadsheets and retirement planning was situated. Things are balanced well right now.
I realized that I did not wish to mess with it. That I did not want anymore, to expend the energy to search, view, inquire, set up accounts, buy stuff to enable this dream of mine to come to life.
I realize that each step is a stepping stone towards or away from things and perhaps my recent foray into selling stuff was the tipping point I needed to see that I do not want to buy anything that would mean buying even more stuff.
Being hugely fond of due diligence, I had already made contact with the insurance broker who would be providing the home insurance, the local township offices about taxes, water, garbage services, local plumber about closing down the place when I'm not there, landscapers to maintain the property so the neighbours wouldn't hate us, furniture stores who offer delivery, carpet stores to replace old carpeting, cleaners who would be willing to provide seasonal service, a lawyer to handle the closing and the local utilities about account start up fees. etc. etc. etc.
To top that, I had started manipulating the spreadsheets to incorporate all these new line items as part of our yearly life. That was the straw that broke the camel's back. It was too much. For years, I loved the thought of doing it and playing around with the possibilities and felt I had the capacity to manage it, but not now.
D and I was supposed to leave early tomorrow morning for Newfoundland.
My Realtor was very understanding and joked that he had ordered a week of great weather in anticipation of our arrival. The proprietor of the B & B I stayed at during my last trip was also very kind and did not charge a last minute cancellation fee. I would have happily paid it but I think he knows I'll be back for a real vacation sometime in the future.
We have decided to head up to the cottage instead to enjoy what we already have. Back end of next week.
Monday, May 25, 2009
Loss
I had the good fortune of having wonderful mentors around me during school. One of them, I just found out, has passed away, peacefully.
I am going to save what I originally was going to write about for another day because it doesn't seem important right now.
This is a welcomed reminder to be grateful for great experiences and even more so for great people.
Love the ones who love you. Stop wasting time trying to change those who will not even meet you half way.
I am going to save what I originally was going to write about for another day because it doesn't seem important right now.
This is a welcomed reminder to be grateful for great experiences and even more so for great people.
Love the ones who love you. Stop wasting time trying to change those who will not even meet you half way.
Wednesday, May 6, 2009
Sounds Too Good To Be True?
Wow. Do I have a story for you.
I just found out of a Charity Scam that went around a few years back whereby loads of people "invested" in this start up charity and for their efforts, got large tax refunds immediately after. The returns were in the 17% range for someone who made $55000.
Apparently, people were asking their family members who couldn't afford to "invest" to put through these receipts on behalf of others who can. When the refunds would come in the mail, it "confirmed" that this was legitimate and subsequently set off a fury of activity and many an investment account were cashed out in order to participate in this "charity".
Fast forward 1 year. The scam was revealed in the papers. I didn't pay any real attention. And Revenue Canada started its investigations.
Someone I know told me they got their letter of re-assessment last summer. The government wasn't allowing this charitable donation and they want their money back with interest. For this person, it means $19350 for something that happened in 2005.
It didn't end here. There was a second "donation" in 2006 to the tune of $60000. So they are anticipating another audit result to appear and this is causing sleep disturbance. Monies has already had to be borrowed in order to pay back what is owing to the government.
The most difficult thing about this for me to understand?
This person allowed a family member to use their income tax form to put it through and monies gotten from the donation was given to the family member. Now that the government isn't allowing this claim through, the family member has refused to pay back this person. There have been people who have had to declare bankruptcy over this.
The charity wasn't a charity. But, allowing someone to claim something that isn't yours on your tax form is fraud. It is not different from carrying someone else's stuff you know nothing about in your luggage for them at an airport...
I feel awful for this person. The family isn't a family anymore. I suggest they continue to ask for the former family members (Son and ex-wife) to do the right thing and own up to making a poor decision and let's fix this situation together.
I just found out of a Charity Scam that went around a few years back whereby loads of people "invested" in this start up charity and for their efforts, got large tax refunds immediately after. The returns were in the 17% range for someone who made $55000.
Apparently, people were asking their family members who couldn't afford to "invest" to put through these receipts on behalf of others who can. When the refunds would come in the mail, it "confirmed" that this was legitimate and subsequently set off a fury of activity and many an investment account were cashed out in order to participate in this "charity".
Fast forward 1 year. The scam was revealed in the papers. I didn't pay any real attention. And Revenue Canada started its investigations.
Someone I know told me they got their letter of re-assessment last summer. The government wasn't allowing this charitable donation and they want their money back with interest. For this person, it means $19350 for something that happened in 2005.
It didn't end here. There was a second "donation" in 2006 to the tune of $60000. So they are anticipating another audit result to appear and this is causing sleep disturbance. Monies has already had to be borrowed in order to pay back what is owing to the government.
The most difficult thing about this for me to understand?
This person allowed a family member to use their income tax form to put it through and monies gotten from the donation was given to the family member. Now that the government isn't allowing this claim through, the family member has refused to pay back this person. There have been people who have had to declare bankruptcy over this.
The charity wasn't a charity. But, allowing someone to claim something that isn't yours on your tax form is fraud. It is not different from carrying someone else's stuff you know nothing about in your luggage for them at an airport...
I feel awful for this person. The family isn't a family anymore. I suggest they continue to ask for the former family members (Son and ex-wife) to do the right thing and own up to making a poor decision and let's fix this situation together.
Wednesday, March 18, 2009
Spring Cleaning
I've been on a spring clear out frame of mind as of late.
The bookshelf will be the first to "get it". I've probably bought 3 books in the last 2 years -- books friends have written as well as Spanish verb book and dictionary. So there are still many books I own,will not be reading again that will be donated to my local library.
For one of the few few times in my life, I have the urge to clean! Cleaning is not my strong point. That is not to say I am messy. I just don't tend to create large messes that would require huge cleaning, that's all.
But all of a sudden, I want to wash down walls, cupboards, shelves etc. Must be something I ate... in all seriousness, I think of it metaphorically as "internal" cleaning as well -- like a mirror. I want to enter spring light and airy inside and out.
I have and will be making some purchases.
Firstly, I decided to invest in new skis. They have been bought and was shipped yesterday from Denver. My first season skiing out west posed some challenges and laughs as I use what is known as "east coast skis" meaning we out here tend to ski on hard pack snow and semi icy conditions. We know how to carve!
Whereas, out west, they actually get lots of fluffy snow and my skinny skies have some issues with, can you believe that? You don't ski the same. So I have succumbed to the peer pressure to buy some that are wider underfoot so I will get some buoyancy and control over the "crude" and powder.
I got a great deal ($900 or so savings) on as they are the 2007 model (still new though). They may not have the "new look" graphics but I'm not vain enough to care. They will work just fine. Total cost not including duty $505.58.
My second expenditure was just secured a minute ago. My car needs new tires. And my snow tires need to come off now that spring has arrived. That will happen on Friday. Total cost $406 plus other stuff, I'm sure. I'm going to ask them for an opinion on my front brakes while they are at it. Last fall they were at 35% left so we'll see how much was used over the winter. The bill will be much higher if they are due to be replaced.
The bookshelf will be the first to "get it". I've probably bought 3 books in the last 2 years -- books friends have written as well as Spanish verb book and dictionary. So there are still many books I own,will not be reading again that will be donated to my local library.
For one of the few few times in my life, I have the urge to clean! Cleaning is not my strong point. That is not to say I am messy. I just don't tend to create large messes that would require huge cleaning, that's all.
But all of a sudden, I want to wash down walls, cupboards, shelves etc. Must be something I ate... in all seriousness, I think of it metaphorically as "internal" cleaning as well -- like a mirror. I want to enter spring light and airy inside and out.
I have and will be making some purchases.
Firstly, I decided to invest in new skis. They have been bought and was shipped yesterday from Denver. My first season skiing out west posed some challenges and laughs as I use what is known as "east coast skis" meaning we out here tend to ski on hard pack snow and semi icy conditions. We know how to carve!
Whereas, out west, they actually get lots of fluffy snow and my skinny skies have some issues with, can you believe that? You don't ski the same. So I have succumbed to the peer pressure to buy some that are wider underfoot so I will get some buoyancy and control over the "crude" and powder.
I got a great deal ($900 or so savings) on as they are the 2007 model (still new though). They may not have the "new look" graphics but I'm not vain enough to care. They will work just fine. Total cost not including duty $505.58.
My second expenditure was just secured a minute ago. My car needs new tires. And my snow tires need to come off now that spring has arrived. That will happen on Friday. Total cost $406 plus other stuff, I'm sure. I'm going to ask them for an opinion on my front brakes while they are at it. Last fall they were at 35% left so we'll see how much was used over the winter. The bill will be much higher if they are due to be replaced.
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