Random Thoughts: Ambition

Have it?  I used to think I did.  Now I'm not so sure anymore.  For D, he used to think it would just develop and now, he doesn't think he has enough.

He went to school with guys who have made it big time.  And he skis with guys who have sold business for many multi multi millions and are still looking for the next business idea and working.  Us?  Continuing to work wouldn't be high on the list should either of us "make it big".

This is a topic that comes up once in while when we talk about some of our "big" dreams.  If only we were ambitious enough to make more money (instead of talking about how much we can cut back)...

The potential is there but the desire has disappeared over the years.  I certainly feel as if my ship has sailed for that.  I peaked early.  Even the mere thought of ramping up again gives me a heavy feeling in my chest.  D is still in the position to climb should he suddenly decides he wants it but I'm afraid having me as an example doesn't help things. 

I don't sit on any advisory boards or publish research or seek a position outside of my area of work.  I just help people one on one.  Is that not enough?  When I read articles of what some of my colleagues are doing to advance our profession outside their office hours, I am amazed at their stamina.  What happened to mine?  Why don't I want to get involved?  Sometimes I do feel bad about it.

So are we just not ambitious?  Or did we never "have it" to begin with and have deluded ourselves for decades thinking we are just choosing not to exercise it?  And are all early retirement hopefuls out there in the same boat?  Is it something we ought to feel ashamed for not having ample of?