Overdid it on the last couple of workouts so am forced to have a rest day today. Made a couple of batches of soup, put a movie on the background while I catch up on writing while sipping on a coffee and amarula.
The last couple of months have been a delicious indulgence in time. Loving not having a strict schedule. The biggest surprise has been how normal it feels to not be working. Not once have I felt weird or guilty about not having an income. Haven't missed anything about the office at all. The only regretful thought being not taking the step 2 years earlier.
The couple of months leading up to Christmas were pretty horrible. So many goodbyes, so many tears and red eye reducing eye drops, made even more awkward with all the PPE I was wearing. That remains the toughest part of leaving. It has passed and am thankful I do not have to do that over ever again.
D expected and was waiting for me to go into some kind of panic but that has not occured. I don't think about money when I go shopping compared to before, which makes no sense. The only explanation is that I trust that the plan leading up to this point works and we'll be OK. I feel grateful, confident and free. It is the feeling I had dreamt of.
In fact, it is D, who is being more conservative and cautious about calculations for his end date. It has been quite the role reversal. Now that I've got the time, I've taken over the weekly errands and money management.
The plan was for me to spend the ski season out west, leaving shortly after the New Year, with D coming out for a month. But, our province went into a lockdown, interprovincial travel discouraged so I cancelled my flight and ski pass and booked for Feb and March. We'll see if the stars align this month for it to happen. It's starting to make me nervous (re: home insurance) not seeing our place for so long -- coming up to a year as we cancelled our last summer plans.
We've been exercising, taking lots of early morning/early evening walks and cooking new to us recipes. The gluten free baking trials haven't been very successful. Still in search for a great gluten free vegan scone recipe. Been starting to read more again, which has been enjoyable.
What hasn't been enjoyable are the changes with my perimenopausal body. My naturopath warned me about the effects of decreasing estrogen but I felt confident that I would be able to counteract it, until I couldn't. Am in disbelief with how much more I have to do exercise wise to start noticing results compared to a couple of years ago. Not thrilled and so easy to be discouraged.
Am currently drawn to country living or owning a parcel to land to escape to again. We don't live in a large city, but we're not allowed to have a bonfire and it is something we'd like to be able to do on our property. It's hard to find forested land without driving at least 4 hrs as we are surrounded by farmland. Would also love to live in a winter wall tent.
Buying something out west would be an obvious answer, so an option we are exploring is buying a camper van and hitting the road this summer to explore the different regions. Want to head to the arctic (should our territories open up) as well, so this could check off a number of boxes as international travel won't likely be open for much of this year. Now that I am no longer practicing, my vaccine timing will be based on age, which will likely mean end of summer.
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