Mental Update

I've been overdoing it.  So much for keeping my mental/emotional rpms at the 5K range...  It feels like I only have a week left when I still have about 4.  Ridiculous, I know. 

Due to some new discoveries, my itinerary, which I was so pleased with being "set" a month ago, has had to change, for the better.  Re-doing prior plans take work, waiting, ongoing communication but it will be worth it.  In order to participate in some real immersive opportunities, I've had to go outside my comfort zone and participate in forums and reach out to people with my true identity in a leap of faith.

D isn't thrilled with my trip.  I know he has come close to asking me not to go because of the turmoil in the city, the demonstrations and recent violence.  I've even asked myself a few times why didn't I just join a group and be done with it???

Because I wanted to create a more unique itinerary, that's why.  I didn't want my time there to be mostly spent on seeing sights.  That wasn't the sole purpose.  And in order to see more, learn more and help, you do need to do some work, a lot of work in some cases.  There are literally 1000's of NGOs in Cambodia and sifting through legit and not so legit ones takes time.  I'm still waiting for replies. 

I've not had to expend this much energy on a journey since my very first solo trip to France.  Laughable now, how nervous, excited and apprehensive I was.  But this current one I feel is happening now because I personally needed a certain level of travel experience and maturity to be ready for it.  What I want to see and do presently wasn't even on the radar back then.  Guess I'm a late bloomer that way.

It is going to be phenomenal, not necessarily all in the blow your mind nature sense (I'm sure Angkor will be) but rather in the blow your mind humanity sense (obviously not all positive either).  I haven't felt this proud of what I've been able to piece together in a long time.  Pretty certain there will be a lot of holding back tears and outright crying.  I feel already altered by what I've read up to now and more recently, the bios of the people and organizations I will be privileged enough to get to spend time with.