One of my hopes in life is to avoid the so call "mid-life crisis".
From what I understand, it is a state where people suddenly stop and take note of where they are, where they have come from and whether the scene they see matches what they had imagined for themselves years ago. Sometimes this is precipitated by something traumatic.
A lot of stories I've read over the years do not shed such a great light on this event. It seems like either the stereotypical "buy the red sports car, get much younger boyfriend/girlfriend" happens or a major life shift occurs only when the person or someone close faces a immanent death challenge.
Either way, the change seems to be precipitated by realizing the "picture inside the head" doesn't match what "is" and the realization that "x" numbers of years has gone by and all the hard work hasn't amounted to a whole lot of joy. All the trappings of success may be there but the feeling inside is not full.
I do a awful lot of soul searching--probably too much--and I've decided that I will aim for something fun at "mid-life", whatever that place or time shall be. A celebration instead of a crisis! Something to strive for rather than some wall to hit. A motivator to help make the scene you will see be the one you want to see!
Now comes the fun part. How will I going to reward myself with for getting there?! People who enter into a full blown crisis ought not to be the only ones who get a makeover, the new car, (I'll pass on the younger boyfriend!) etc. etc...
I'm giddy with possibilities. How are you going to reward yourself for a job well done, a life well lived?
Hopefully my reward will be yes you have probably guessed to relax and live in our wee house in France.
ReplyDeleteAndrea
I went through some sort of mid-life thing when I turned 25. I usually refer to it as my quarter life crises. I got to the point when I suddenly realised I had made it to a quarter of a century and my life did not align with where I wanted to be.
ReplyDeleteAt that time I left my partner of 6 years because I couldn't see him in my new vision of the future and I decided to get out and see the world instead of continuing to put my life on hold.
It was a turbulent time, but I learned a lot about myself. Since then, I've been much more conscious of my life and decisions I make. I think that should be celebrated.
Wow, you did a brave thing, standing up for yourself like that.
ReplyDeleteI think, that the longer one stays in anything, the harder it is to leave it.
You bet that act of self love/preservation/confirmation ought to be celebrated!!
Hi Andrea;
ReplyDeleteI do not think your house in France is wee. It is a beautiful size with wonderful grounds. I cannot wait to see your oven transformed back to glory. They do not build like that anymore. You have bought yourself a piece of architectural history!
How much work are you doing yourselves vs. hiring local artisans? How often do you get to go and work on it?
Hey, I just dropped by and liked your blog .This is really a cool way to think about mid-life . U r very correct, most of the times these are mid-life crises and triggered by something traumatic. What matters is how u leverage this initial trauma to switch course or spread wings to taste the unseen sky !!
ReplyDeleteYes , by all means, it should be mid-life celebration. In my case, I was having a pretty serious reflection on my life-goals for about two years now - then something happened which I did not like and thought it is time to switch course to pursue my true passions.Called it a quit. And, now about 3 months after my voluntary retirement, I am glad, I retired early. My reward is : I now get time to follow my dreams which include a few "worthy" goals as per me.
Thanks for making your readers pause and ponder over this.
I really like your concept of leveraging.
ReplyDeleteI do believe that if you send out the message (verbal or mental) that I am getting ready for something different/better or "surprise me", you are paving the way to that life shift opportunity.
And now, you are reaping the rewards of personal goal fulfillment! Well done!
I agree, why do they have to call it a crisis when it could be leading into the best part of your life? I guess I had mid-life crisis a couple of years ago when I became dissatisfied with my career and decided to retire. Pretty big life move.
ReplyDeleteBut it was a great decision! How 'bout we call it the mid-life awakening instead of crisis?
Hi Syd!
ReplyDeleteMid-life awakening works for me, with the actual age it occurs not really relevant.
I know of many people who have lived so much in a short short period of time.