The Goal



 

For most of the people I met along the way the goal was to get to here.  Me?  I chose to see if from the water and opted to spend even more time on nearby waters instead.  Wasn't expected to be moved by this place but I was.  There was a palpable difference in energy even from this far away. 

 

 I've been wanting to see a Puffin for ages!  (Right up there with the Northern Lights)
They were so cute and smaller than I'd imagined.

 

Don't let my non existent bird photography skills fool you into thinking there weren't many birds.

At that time of year, there are at least 800000 - 1.2 million of them there. 

You need to have very fast shutter speed because the boat bobs up and down quite a bit and a great zoom lens.  Didn't have either so pictures are blurry.

The sound was incredible!  Extremely fortunate to not get pooped on.

 

Reindeer still with their winter coats (end of June). 

This was taken around 1:30 pm.  Not fog, but low lying cloud, typical of area.

 



Reindeer with more of their summer coats. 

 

 

In Parallel

It seems like since we came home from out west, Ontario has pulled out all the stops to remind us why it is a worthy place.  We've had sublime temperatures, bright sun for more than a week, and people seemed to be extra smiley. 

Even our cottage neighbours have been extra friendly.  One of them gave me a huge hug and kiss (both cheeks) and told me that even though she hasn't seen me much, I was in her heart.  (She was the first person I encountered with my Realtor and when asked about the community, gave me a 30 min tour of her cottage.)

D and I have been walking more which always helps me think and decompress.  Ended up re-discovering our community weekend market and some great new vendors instead of venturing to our usual regional one.  There are so many aspects to making an educated decision.

One thing we have ruled out (yet again) in all this is our previous desire to move out into the country.  Funny how looking at much more expensive real estate elsewhere with relative lower "value" makes our local prices seem "cheap". 

I would miss my walks to the various establishments (supermarkets, drug store, library etc) way too much to exchange for more outside space, privacy and quiet.  Having to drive everywhere in exchange wouldn't be ideal for me.  Plus being chased and bit by mosquitoes and various assorted flies were deterrent enough during our open house visits -- Now there's the real truth!  Reliable internet we found, has also been an issue.

Work has been steady and I am really appreciating the flexibility it affords me with being able to call the shots.  I've also been diligently learning the ins and outs of the other offices I've interviewed with to acquaint myself with the way they do things because if I end up there, I'd be following their rules. 

One unexpected opportunity has come about.  My buddy completely freaked me out by offering me the extra space available in his office.  He did caution me to sit down first before he told me.  This option would allow me to work very similarly to what I have now. 

I've given myself a few weeks to digest this possibility.  My biggest concern is our friendship.  He doesn't believe it would be an issue as we'd never be in the office at the same time and because we are both concerned about it, we'd have a head start on any potential issues.  I've been asking him some progressively difficult questions (as I would for any office) as I need to be sure of his motivation.  It has to be a great business decision for both of us.

Pleased to have finally met his wife after all these years of hearing about her.  Vice versa I later found out.  Apparently he thinks we are similar in character.  After meeting her I'd say there are similarities but I'm no where as driven as she is with respect to career. 

She's on the board of almost everything medical and is passionate about changing the system to be more patient friendly and protective.  Struggling with various health challenges has not dampened her will at all.  He was accurate in describing her as a "race horse". 

Felt downright lazy in comparison and I know she (or he) wasn't totally getting our desire to retire early and travelling far.  Their very bright and energetic daughter couldn't get enough of D.  They've openly expressed how great it would be if we'd move into their neighbourhood (Entry price 720K and we're talking suburbs so not likely).  We are looking forward to seeing them again soon.

Scenes From A Bus

 

Wow, was it windy that day.

Temperature was a balmy 6 C before wind chill.

Regular Programming

Life continues no matter what you may have running in the background.  We still need to cook and clean and garage doors and windows still don't paint themselves.

We got our property evaluation reassessment back for the cottage and our assessment has been lowered by 9K.  Not a huge amount but now we are more in line with other neighbours' and it's effect is a tiny decrease in our property tax. 

Our main house application was victim to a computer error (the updated measurements I sent via their secured form didn't get to her) so the frustration I experienced with our area adjudicator (and vice versa I'm sure) was finally relieved once we realized what had happened.  We've ironed it out and are on the same page now.  Except I'll have to wait until next year to try again, if we are still around.

I have an interested buyer for my office.  We are meeting next week to discuss details.  Before you get all excited for me, the amount won't be enough to retire on!  Asset evaluations are usually based on a percentage of gross income.  It was nice to go through the math and see that my work over the last few years since moving out on my own will pay off.

A recent posting has come up for D (out west).  It is with his current company, a higher level position and they are looking to hire from "outside", meaning not locally as they have been trying for while to find someone.  He has inquired about it and has since applied.  It will mostly likely not pay as much as the contract ones but would mean maintaining current benefits and pension.  Could potentially be a good compromise?  Not sure but we can't believe the timing! 

On the domestic work front, D got approved to able to work from home 2 days a week again (aiming to go back to 3 in time) and has appreciated the arrangement much more this time around.  He has found it less enjoyable working amongst his peers than he remembered as they apparently complain too much, seem very stuck in their lives, not willing to make any changes and insists his "better" life came about because he was "lucky" as if we didn't have to work at it...To which he tells them they only have to meet me and will quickly realize that is totally not true...

I'm still going through "light interviews" with a few offices.  Have decided not to add any more into the mix as I'm getting mentally tired.  I know I've been coming across a lot more non committal than usual with respect to my talks.  I can imagine them thinking "Does she want the job or not?".  Mainly because we haven't answered the most important question yet -- Can we say "Yes" to this move? 

It's probably frustrating for them to be dealing with someone out of province.  So I've been sensitive with not taking up more of their time than is necessary for me to gage simple possibilities at this point (got 2 verbal offers, working on the 3rd).  And I've been upfront with our situation.

For the most part, other than the occasional "Why would you even want to move?" when they find out what we are considering giving up, people have been more than generous with us.  It is a big decision.  I feel they are taking us seriously because we have shown sufficient initiative and intention. 

It would be different if we came across all wishy washy.  One of D's interviewers asked him whether he was planning to make the decision to move there based on what he saw in the 4 days?  When he said no, it is just a start, she was relieved and told him she'd be concerned if he had said yes because at this stage of his life, she'd expect some more thought and process than that.  She'd also expect that he would have sufficient assets to liquidate (if he was as "successful" as she'd expect) and would require time to do so.  And that it wouldn't be a quick thing for me to wrap up my career either.  Smart lady.

Ironically the few friends who know about these adventures are either in the "What are you waiting for?" camp or the "You aren't going to give All This Up, are you??" one.  

The first group of people are the active friends who have made similar moves already and tell us we'll be wondering in 3 months why we waited so long to move in the first place.  The other group don't see themselves ever moving regardless of how they may feel about their life and if they had our life, they would never think of giving it up.  They feel we'd be "trading down" because we wouldn't be living in a home that was as big etc. etc.  It's been amusing seeing our scenario reflected back with their values. 

It isn't mandatory I have a placement before making the decision to move.  Thank goodness for that because it would be too much pressure (I would have exams to write and the application itself is tedious).  As long as D has, that's fine for now.  I'm also not ruling out the possibility of going back to school to train for something entirely different.  When we return, I'm planning on taking a tour of area educational facilities.  Or maybe this would be a great time for me to finally take a year off!  I told D that I might just take to being a stay at home wife.  To which he replied "Yeah, we'll see how long that lasts...".

Yes we are returning.  Made a few changes to free up a week.  It will represent our last effort this year with respect to time and budget to pursue this avenue.  None of this had been budgeted for in the first place so we'll need to make up the expenditure by year end.  Should we require yet more time there, it will have to wait until next year.  Neither of us are willing to change/give up anything else (upcoming trips) this year to make it happen.  Remember this isn't a mandatory exercise.

Should the decision be positive, then that will be different.  The big real estate sale will begin, hopefully timed to take advantage of the "fall market". 

Views From the Hike

Basic Move Q & A

Why do you want to move?  To experience a more urban way of life, to be closer to our ski condo, to be surrounded by people who are more active, to experience way better work opportunities (D absolutely, Me -- Jury is still out).

Are you dissatisfied with your life as it currently stands?  Yes and No.  Yes with respect to environment and peers.  No with respect to finances and how our life generally feels like and looks like on paper.  It would be easier in some ways if we had to move because of need.  As it is, we live a pretty diversified life right now.  It isn't "perfect" but we feel we've made the most of what we have.  For sure the topic of whether it is an ungratefulness issue has come up and we don't feel it is that at all.  Being that it is a bit too steep effort wise to try for an oversea move, within Canada is our best shot at something different.

Why would you even consider such an "expensive" place?  Bigger city means far more activities to chose from.  We are thinking of how we want to continue living beyond work.  Remember how difficult it was for me to find a private ballet teacher?  No problem where we are looking.  Plus there is an opportunity to learn something I've always wanted to do -- Biathlon!!! -- and other things we want to get into, like adventure racing.  The terrain and culture out west is totally conducive to that.  There are less expensive places out west but unfortunately that also tends to mean not great work opportunities for D whereas better for me work wise, for a number of reasons.  Finding a place that is ideal for both of us has been tough. 

Why Now?  Timing is good with respect to us probably having another 10 years or so left in our careers.  Long enough to build something meaningful (more relevant for me).  Honestly, since I've moved to part time, I've been more content than I can remember (am also a creature of habit).  D's spear heading this search but I'm open to new opportunities and definitely open to a more exciting life.  Feeling like we've "beat" the system here in Ontario, allowing us to be in a place financially where we can afford to dream "bigger" or so we think.  Mind you, out there we're not swimming in a small pond anymore.

What would you have to give up?  The cottage, our large well built and architecturally significant home, significant square footage, possibly a garage, a car (a good thing), possessions (not necessarily a bad thing, but it might mean my piano and French antiques), convenient flights to Europe (this move would add another 4+ hours one way),  my autonomy at work (biggie -- not at all sure about having to work "under" someone again), a short commute (me), Pearson Airport (it's not perfect but we like it), The Great Lakes (We are spoiled in Ontario with abundance of fresh water.  Small lakes just aren't the same.), good friends (lucky I'm not adverse to travelling, don't see this as much of an issue, am good with keeping in touch).

How would you make it work?  Bigger city, higher percentage of financially leverage lives -- Not a place we wish to venture into.  No way would I consider buying a house for 600K+ at this stage of my/our lives.  I don't want to sink that much money in what could/would be our "final home".  Don't people tend to go the other way and sell to get money out of their home?  We are looking for the least expensive (if it even exists) reasonable form of housing.  What that means is just being there has to be so great that we would be willing to give up house ownership.  I'm getting ahead of myself again.  We would be renting for the first year until we get to know our way around.  I can see us moving to a different neighbourhood the following year and seeing how we like it.  If we pare down our possessions, it shouldn't be problem.  I've already found a storage place just in case. 

What are you afraid of?  Of failing.  Of giving up everything we have here and realizing too late and not having anything to come back to (thinking of my office here because I would have sold it).  Of feeling "poor" and finding we have to work harder than predicted and not having the amount of leisure time we thought we'd have.  Of all the work involved.  Of feeling claustrophobic.  Of being dependent on D until I find the right fit.

Scenes From Abroad: By Boat to Train then on Foot.

First sight of my hiking route...Excited!

 



Life Update

So what's been going on?  Loads.  We are still processing it all. 

The trip out west was more than we expected.  D, even though he initiated it all, expected to not really like it.  When both the location and career prospects kinda impressed him right away, I had to quickly catch up and consider what this could mean for us.

My meetings also went better than expected, surprisingly at the one office I was almost not going to bother with.  Funny how things like that happen.  It turns out I was inaccurate with how they did things and part time work is very possible there.  The only glitch is the location.  I would have to commute (drive) for 35 min - 1 hour depending on timing and time of year. 

I'm getting ahead of myself. 

D, if he chooses to go contract (normal culture there), can make enough to cover pretty much my income.  That's huge.  It would make the stress of my transition much easier should we decide to make the leap. 

Real estate is the biggest stumbling block.  Bigger income, bigger expenses, bigger cost of living.  That's the way it goes in the large cities we know. 

After looking at a number of properties, the cost of entry is 600K for something (house) half the size of what we're used to and not as well built but within commuting distance (walk, bike or public transit) for where D would be and then it would be up to me to either find something local or drive.  We would downsize to one car.

Condo or town home living is an option but I am not liking that the fees have to cover utilities (water, heat).  We have that at the ski condo and it bugs me that we have to pay for other peoples' non green habits reflected in the annual increases.  Condo fees in the units we would be interested in (2 bedroom) are in the $550 - 900/month range.  And that doesn't include property tax.

Since our return, we've been looking at our life here with "xray" eyes.  Are we ready to leave this?  What are we exchanging it for?  It has to be more than money.  What would be our exit plan? 

One thing we do know for sure.  It's worth another visit.

Finally Some Pictures

 

 Hard to tell perspective but it is a sheer drop at the edge of the rock.

The trees are actually farther away and lower down.

The breeze alone was well worth the hike, with silence a close second. 



Yes it is Happening

In the "Wow, is this really happening" file, I have firmed up 3 "meet and greet"/interviews out west.  I can hardly believe it.  It has been 15 years since I first started searching for a place to work.  A couple of offices have said they are open to a part time arrangement.  The other one, not so much but their set up intrigues me so why not see it, right?  It's worth a couple of hours of my time.

We haven't talked money or any deep details.  I am not that concerned about it for now, funny enough.  Being that I haven't just stepped out of school, it isn't my abilities I question anymore, it is the fit.  My gut will tell me if I could exist there.  And right now, I'm leaving it as simple as that.  We could go back and forth spending a ton of time matching details when in the end, it comes down to whether both parties feel strongly enough to want to make something happen.  Who knows?  Maybe they'll think I'm too old!  Younger tends to mean cheaper.

Whereas the process of chronically searching and applying for positions is old hat for D.  He has been doing interviews by phone, video and has progressed to in person.  And we'll be there soon. 

I'm feeling a bit apprehensive as I don't really believe this move will happen even though I've spent a significant amount of time communicating and organizing.  Plus it takes a lot of energy to be "On".  I'm not convinced I want it as much as D.  Guess I'm waiting for the city and everything else to fall into place and convince me. 

A bit ashamed to admit this, but I'm more excited about getting together with my buddy and his family so how's that for priorities?  He has graciously rearranged his schedule to give me a "hit the ground running" type of tour of the city to help narrow our choices with respect to potential neighbourhoods during D's interviews.  Then D and I will be off to the Realtor. 

I sifted through dozens and dozens of real estate listings while D was doing his bike race (did really well for his first go at 160 km).  All I can say is thank goodness for Google Street view because some really nice homes are not on really nice uniform streets.  It's really hard to get your money out from a custom build when no one else on the street is thinking the same thing...The price of poker seems to be 500K+ for what I would call a fixed up older starter home (1500 sq ft).

D has promised me that he won't be springing anymore of these mid life work crisis searches on me having realized how seriously I take things -- Really, how long has he known me?  Why would I spend all that money to truck out there this soon after coming home from an already expensive trip unprepared?

Totally Random

Each day of the last 2 weeks have felt like 4.  Super productive but also super tiring.  Add to it the heavy humid heat outside (we've been maxing out in the low to mid 40s C with the humidex) and relatively short walks leave me drained.  Happy to have an air conditioned home gym, that's for sure!  D has a race coming up.  I don't know how he does it.  He says he prefers slugging it out in the heat.  Give me ice and snow any day...

• Want to be inspired?  Find yourself a copy of "Into The Cold:  A Journey of the Soul" by Sebastian Copeland.  I've watched it twice in the last week when I've felt really tired.  Afterwards, I don't feel so tired after all.  I think I'm due for another viewing...
• My mind keeps drifting back to my time in Barcelona...Right now I'm thinking of the ice cream place I wandered to on a Sunday afternoon.  Gelateria Caffetteria Italiana (Plaça Revolucio De Setembre De 1868)  Must get back there soon.  KLM, throw me a seat sale!  Oh yeah, this last trip blew my travel budget for the year...OK, maybe no seat sale then.  Don't want to be tempted!
• The reason I've/we've been so busy as of late is that we're putting together a quick trip out west to really check things out from a career and housing front.  Different city from last year.  Actually the same one as my buddy (whose wife has had 4 more visits to the ER and yet another surgery since!  Unbelievable.) so we'll have a chance to catch up.  A bit of a whirlwind trip but hopefully in depth enough to answer some important questions and maybe lay some things to rest (I hate the feeling of not being present for extended periods of time).  I feel this process is necessary for D to come to terms with whether the possibilities that exist in his mind or have heard about are actually possible.  And it will give us a chance to decide if we even like it there.  It's going to have to take much more than money to move all that way.  The adventure has to be there.
• Being not much of a TV watcher, D finally managed to talk me into giving a few series a go.  So I'm all caught up with "Breaking Bad" and "Homeland" (took months).  I just couldn't get into "Arrested Development".  Saw my first episodes of "Gray's Anatomy" in Barcelona (Yes, I'm a slow adapter for a lot of things) so we've been watching that as well, starting with season 5 because I couldn't imagine starting all the way from the beginning.  D was reluctant at first but has gotten into it. 
• Finally saw some 3D movies.  Both of us have not so great memories of the old time paper glasses with the coloured lens so we had been going out of our way to avoid it.  Can definitely say we are converts now.  We saw "Star Trek into Darkness" and "Man of Steel" and enjoyed them both.  No issues with dizziness or nausea.  Could have used more popcorn.

 

Broken Down

Our small appliances have been breaking down all over the place lately.  We now have a new iron, immersion blender and regular blender.  And the crock pot has developed a long crack... Is there some sort of rare planetary alignment going on??

And on top of all that, a day into my trip (trip report still to come, been too swamped to even think about it), I tugged a little too hard trying to get my ear bud headphones out of my purse and broke them.  Called Bose and it cannot be fixed because the wires they use would melt if you attempt to solder them.  But what they will do, is allow you to buy another pair for significantly less if you send in your old pair, which I have done.

Totally my fault.  The gentleman I spoke with thanked me for being honest.  What?!  It never even occurred to me not to be.  D says that speaks volumes of what they must hear all the time.   Even if my warranty wasn't over, I would never come up with some story to see if I could get them replaced for free.  Karma man.

I really miss them.  Using the headset from my new phone just doesn't cut it.  So I've resorted to my bigger noise cancelling ones from Bose and darned near over heated while working out.  Who knew over the ear style headsets are so good at trapping heat?  Very pleased to get the email telling me my new ones are on their way.  Man, I love that company.  Their customer service is tops.

I used Canada Post Expedited Service to mail my headset back and 80 - 90% of the time they are great.  Things get there in about 2 days.  So won't you know it, when I'm really really anxious about getting my stuff, they are late, 1 week late!  Turns out if you send via a method that guarantees delivery by a certain time and it didn't, you can request a credit for your fee.  Or that's how I read it.  We'll see shortly if that pans out. 

To balance out all the unexpected stuff that has come our way, I took another step towards bettering our health by adding a rowing machine to the home gym.  Wanted one for a long time but wanted to make sure I was getting good use of my treadmill and bike first.  Found it online used.  D's never used one before and am excited to give it a whirl.  I rowed for one summer while working at a camp for "gifted kids" way back when and loved it. 

Am not happy to report that I lost my first 500 m race to the computer when I thought I had won!  Obviously I wasn't tracking the correct boat on the screen...Was sore the next day so the racing accomplished something.  Game On Mr Computer.

After a bit of chasing UPS around (missed the delivery and they had to have someone over 19 sign for it...), I finally got my new ear bud headphones!  Listening to one of D's favourite tracks right now -- "Crazy" by Gnarls Barkley.  These are the latest ones and sound better than my old set.  Hard to believe.  Incredible just how ridiculously happy great sound makes me feel.  Downright overwhelming.

D's Mini Mid Life Work Crisis?

I came home to find D chest deep in a mini mid life crisis with respect to his work. 

He just started with a new and much better department but is still feeling restless.  Not even riding 100 km+ and all the other stuff he is into has shaken the feeling off.  So he searched for career opportunities out west and spoke to contacts and recruiters while I was gone.  We talked about it before I left but I didn't get the impression he was that serious.

We went through the real estate exercise a year or so ago and wasn't motivated enough to go further.  Who knows what this may bring.  Out of curiosity, I did a cursory look for myself.  Sure there are openings but finding a part time one hasn't been fruitful.  So, this new opportunity of D's would need to cover at least half of what I make to make it worthwhile and within my comfort zone.

He tells me if he is happily committed to working for the next 10 years, why not be in a "better" place sooner than later? 

I can't argue with that logic.  Neither of us are "in love" with where we are.  And we've carved out the greatest life we could based on our resources.  It's true we feel like we've "maxed out" on the best of our location. 

Canada is big.  Why not try living in a different part of it?  We already are with our ski condo, why not make another place permanent?  One thing's for sure, neither of us will miss the heavy humidity our region is known for.  So choices are Pacific or Atlantic, elevation or sea level.  It's kinda fun to dream but I've found it gets weary fast as I factor in all the financial and other logistical details etc.

Oh to be really young again, before I worried enough about stuff to veto ideas quickly. 

On Staying Calm

While unexpected big things have the potential to stop me in my tracks, many little things can add up to create enough irritation to make me want to blow up.  I call myself "Middle Way" not because I am, but because I would like to be.

D has a great attitude when it comes to the little things.  He likes to remind me in the big scheme of things, I win more than I lose. Very true but easy sometimes to lose sight of it. 

That was the mantra I repeated in my head when I found myself at the gate agent ready to board my flight and then was told I was at the wrong gate...there was a last minute gate change I did not know about but my big error was I forgot which city I was flying to so I was looking at the wrong city on the departure screens. 

And this happened on the way home too...It was the second time I've ever taken a flight where I connected in Canada before arriving to Europe (and home) so all I was thinking about was my destination city in Europe, not Canada...And the curious thing was in both cases, the flight times were similar if not identical.

Talk about being set in your ways...Seriously, I had to ask myself, is this your first time at an airport Missy?!

When I got to the correct gate, boarding was almost over.  Thank goodness I was in the right terminal or else my error would have meant many thousands of dollars in last minute flights (assuming there were seats left), copious amounts of internal swearing as well as a head explosion.  Thank goodness I did not have checked luggage. 

And to think I was relaxed going into this trip too.  Wasn't rushed, had a great dinner in T1 at Pearson (Mill Street Brewery Restaurant -- Their dinner sized spinach salad with fresh strawberries, candied pecans, balsamic shrimp and optional calamari was excellent and very filling), time to wander around, had good energy and then boom!

***Special shout outs to Lizzie who I silently waved to as I passed Winchester on the M3 and to Northern Living Allowance whose ears might have been burning while I was going through her soon to be home city -- (You are so going to have a great life there.  Had no idea how many parks and green spaces there was.  Wanted to have a drink at "The Cowherds" because the name made me laugh, but didn't have enough time.)***

Wouldn't this make a great kid's play set?