A lot of our friends / colleagues / family are heavily into the child / teen / young adult rearing phases of their lives. Hearing and seeing how these young people are turning out have given us joy, worry and a lot of unanswered questions.
- How is it that a child who participates for the first-time-ever at an intro novice cheer team / musical comedy group / dance class end up going to the "nationals" by the end of the year? Do you not have to work years at a craft anymore to earn your way up to it? Who is banking all the money at these events? Parents are paying thousands to send their kids and cannot opt out as they wouldn't want their child to let down the rest of the team. And all the brouhaha is supposed to elevate your child's self esteem?
- It amazes me how many parents I come across who are literally "tip toeing" around their kids. Like they are afraid they would hold them back / curtail their enthusiasm / harm them for life should they speak their mind about whatever. As a parent, I am expecting them to teach. They are supposed to have more life experience. Not speaking up allows their kids to potentially follow an unrealistic route or develop a mindset that isn't congruent with what they will eventually face when they have to try to stand on their own two feet.
- Why are some parents OK with the prospect of their young adults staying home indefinitely? Yes, it may be lonely to think of life without some other bodies under the same roof, but isn't that the point of parenthood -- To bring up people who will go forth and be / do something in the world? Rather than feed your own insecurities or to fill the voids caused by a lack luster marriage?
- How does someone make it to the age of 18 and not know how to hand wash dishes, or use a washing machine or a vacuum?? When this question comes from another 18 year old who is finding herself having to teach her roommate, it is particularly hilarious. What were their parents thinking? Again, if they feel they are deserving of parent of the year awards, I believe they many be holding the wrong parenting measuring sticks.
- Why are some parents allowing their toddlers and young children speak / yell / screech at such high volumes and even respond back similarly in encouragement? Why would you want to encourage that when in regular life, you would not be communicating in that manner?
- Why is it "enduring" when your late teen son managed to lose 3 iphones over the course of a year resulting in 3 out of contract purchases amounting to thousands? How could that be "cute" and not worthy of a good scolding rather than continuing to be enabling?
- I don't understand the need to continually complement young girls / women on their looks as if that is all they have to be proud of. Especially when their look consists of daily applications of half a bottle of foundation and false eyelashes. Do guys really go for that??!! Even some of the most naturally beautiful girls have succumbed to that (horrid) look for prom and to me it totally wrecks it.
- It feels dangerous to me the habit of rewarding a child and lavishing him / her for no real reason other than they happen to exist. Some parents are losing their identity and starting to fail in providing a model for what a healthy adult is. And the child learns they can just sit there and there will be praise. No effort required to earn it. Every kid just wins. It feels very warped to me.
All of the above -- Easy to say when you don't have kids, right? I have no answers to offer, just select recent observations. And having also recently sat in a theater full of millennials displaying many of the same characteristics as described above, I don't have a whole lot of confidence in a number of their futures as well functioning people.
The films we saw at the event, however, do inspire. Check these out if you can.
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