Brain Dump

• Had been temporarily feeling highly irritable.  Think food additives may have something to do about it and sensitivity to caffeine.  Had completed a detox and forgot that afterwards can be extra affected by even small amounts of substances I do not normally take in.  Supposed to know better.  Hate feeling so volatile.
• Because of the heightened emotional sensitivity, other things not related to me are bothering me.  Like D's many missed Spanish lessons making me feel like I've made a mistake recommending them to him.  The control freak in me is on overdrive with the lack of accountability I have been witnessing.  For the record, I know I sound completely insane...
• My mind is also likely preoccupied with an upcoming periodontal procedure (logical or not, I am blaming my electric toothbrush).  We have no coverage for it and nothing specialty dental comes cheap.  But, I will get some days off afterwards, which I don't mind right now.  Good opportunity for an attitude adjustment.  Update:  procedure was short and sweet.  Currently recovering at home.  Thus the extra verbiage... too much time on my hands as I cannot do anything strenuous for 3 days.
• The irritated state lasted the morning.  Once I got to work and started focusing on my day, things normalized.  Huge reason I continue to grapple with the complete retirement choice.  Am not convinced it would be the healthiest decision for someone like me, who can get carried away living in her mind, despite the vision I saw and felt. 
• And really, how different would my life be with the extra time I'd gain?  I'd probably still be working out, travelling, studying Spanish.  Maybe more of each but I am not seeing what major new component would come into play that would make life even more full than it already is.  I like the amount of variety I have in my life right now.
• That travel claim related to D's fracture is still not completed.  They needed more info and through the process, we found out that our medical Dr was retiring as of the end of Oct.  Feel really sad about it as I will miss him so much.  Been with him for the entire 20 years I've been here.  Even though my file is probably only single digit pages thick, I've always trusted him as a practitioner and he always took me seriously.  The community has lost a good one.
• Same with my dental secretary who retired this summer.  Such a wonderful person.  Because I canceled my appointment, I never got to say goodbye and thank you in person.  And that bothers me.
• We are currently registered at a local clinic for our "meet and greet" with our potential new MDs in the new year.  I guess there is still a chance they won't like us and we won't have new doctors.  The whole "interview" process feels so ridiculous to me.
• Am slowly getting caught up with all those health maintenance appointments now.  Eye check is next.  Took the summer off from pretty much everything in that department.  Just didn't want to commit to anything on my off days as D's schedule and all the changes that caused tired both of us out.
• It doesn't help that we just returned from Tokyo, a city where quiet, calm and politeness permeates.  And then jump right into the reel rock experience.  However, I do not believe that I could ignore the lack of manners displayed by some even at a time when I wasn't extra irritated.  
• D has had a few interviews.  Nothing has come out of it yet.  And he was right, there has been some improvements at work.  But still not enough.  And for some reason, he isn't finding the numbers of quality of opportunities right now.  It feels like he is starting to lose his confidence.  
• He has been grappling with the concept of loss.  Aren't we all in our own ways?  Loss of health, loss of opportunities, loss of confidence in our bodies, loss of etc. etc.  I wouldn't consider it a mid life crisis, rather a strong stop and gather status wise.  
• I hate it when things mess up my work email or cellphone.  Whenever D has some idea of a cool app or update I should have, I am extremely hesitant about adopting it.  Because it has happened enough times that it ends up slowing down my phone or computer or something that should not have been erased ends up getting erased and he can't get it back... just sends me.  And yes, we are dealing with yet another situation right now.
• There is some good stuff stuck in my brain.  I still remember fondly a conversation I had with a bright young man on a bus in Vietnam en route to Sapa.  Super well versed and wise for his age.  His mom works for an NGO in Denmark and she got an overseas position in Phnom Penh and they were in Vietnam to do a trek as a family.  
• Ended up bumping into them after the trek (we did different routes) and had an ice coffee with his mom outside on the balcony.  Told her just how impressed I was with the demeanor of her children, how they carried themselves, how smart and mature they were.  She said that they teach them to be but really don't know if it will translate until they get to demonstrate it in the world.  It was also very gratifying for her to see.
• On the same trip, on a crazy 10 hour or so nighttime sleeper train ride from Hanoi, I ended up in a room with 3 guys (4 bunk beds) and the guy above me watched something on his laptop that the rest of us (based on each of our shocked and disgusted expressions of him) strongly felt resembled porn, as he proceeded to jerk off.  His bed side light throwing the shadow of his actions onto our room door.  
• The 2 other guys promptly turned and slept away from his direction whereas I wondered who would come to my aid if dude above tried anything.  I placed my confidence on the Aussie guy, whose family took up the room next to us.  When dude above would climb down, he consistently managed to step half way onto my bed, onto my leg, with no apology.  Seriously, I ended up kicking him.  Even then, he never said a word to any of us.  On the way down, I ended up in the same train compartment with the Aussie guy and we had a good laugh about it.