Friday, July 22, 2011

Frustrating People

D and I both had frustrating people moments yesterday. Here's D's first.

There is a colleague of D's who makes bitey comments about other peoples' "better" lives. And yesterday it was targeted at D, who didn't appreciate it.

She said things like "Oh, it must be nice not to have kids...", or "It must be nice to have all that money to travel..." or "I wish I could just take off somewhere like you can..." and various variations of the above in an accusatory tone.

Luckily for her, she wasn't speaking to me as I do not have as much patience as D and this is hardly the first time plus I do not do well with "victim mentalities" in the first place.

Background story: She has a deadbeat husband who she supports along with 2 kids. She isn't particularly good at what she does and is one of those people who has become complacent in the 20 plus years with the company.

Her husband is emotionally and mentally abusive and she likes to manipulate her in ways that ensure she cannot have a life outside of catering to him and the kids. He doesn't "allow" her to take a vacation. They do not live together but he certainly seems to control her. A decade's worth of counselling hasn't helped yet.

So D's replies to yesterday's bitter comments: "How much do you spend in daycare in a month? Now times that by 12. (holy crap)", "How many people work (one) and how many people are you supporting? (4)" and "Did you choose to get married and have kids or were you forced to? (by choice)".

"Well, our lifestyle was chosen by choice too. Vacations and vacation properties didn't just fall out of the sky onto our lap because we were lucky. We actively planned to make it happen. So until you have that figured out, don't make any more negative comments to others because you are frustrated with your choices and perceived lack of control."

Next post will be my experience.

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