Saturday, February 6, 2010

What If?

Don't get me wrong. I am not being morbid here.

When I find myself alone (not sure if D does the same when I'm gone...), I wonder whether I would still be living in this house on my own?

I know I eat differently by myself -- even simpler and with even less meat.

To answer the question, I do not think so. I believe I would find this house too large for just me. It wouldn't have been something I would buy if I was single. I have never bought a house with the thought of it being a good one should I end up in a relationship so why start now?

Last night, I actually thought I would consider hiring someone to clean should I wish to stay here on my own. Housework is not one of my fortes.

The cottage would be sold. I would have no interest maintaining it on my own. If I chose to stay in this province, I could see myself looking for something else. If I don't want to hang around, then I would move out west. I wouldn't sell that property.

No, I'm not looking for an exit strategy. And they say that when one goes through huge emotional upheaval to not do anything rash for a year after as you may not be thinking straight enough to make such big decisions.

Isn't this train of thought why we make wills?

I strongly suspect that neither one of my parents have wills. It is a weird superstitious belief thing. You cannot even bring it up. They believe that drafting a will means they are ushering their own deaths earlier.

Maybe my willingness to analyse everything comes from my wanting to get away from such illogical thinking.

Oh yeah, our next trip destination has been firmed up -- Berlin! A great excuse to learn some German.

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