Thursday, December 11, 2008

WOW -- Not in a good way.

As I was preparing for this morning's post, I received a call from my girlfriend who is a sales manager for one of the largest home builders in my area. She was distraught.

The second in command of her company hung himself yesterday. He was found by his assistant in the basement of the office building. This is a 45 yr old man with a stay a home wife and children under the age of 10.

The company just won an award and posted record sales this year.

Everyone in the office was detained by the police and forensic squad for the entire day for questioning and grief counselling. The Christmas cocktail party that was supposed to have been last night was obviously cancelled.

There is a lot of speculation as to why? Was it the job? The company has recently downsized a number of its divisions. Was he ill? A number of people felt he hadn't looked like himself lately. Was it personal? They didn't know.

What would drive someone who outwardly lived such a successful life and seemingly had so much to live for kill himself?

Suicide can be interpreted as the ultimate "escape". Barring any mental illness, it is usually premeditated.

My girlfriend and her colleagues felt that one lesson they will take away from this tragedy is that no job, no relationship or anything is worth getting yourself to a place where you have given up all hope for life.

So, if your outward side doesn't match your inward side, maybe it is time to question that and do something about it.

My thoughts go out to his loved ones.


  1. OMG - what a horrible holiday season for everyone effected by this.

    I hope your friend is coping. My thoughts and prayers to his family.

  2. How very sad.

    As someone who battled depression a few years back, I can say that outward signs of success and happiness often do not reflect how the person is really feeling. Thankfully I had a couple of friends who recognised what I was going through and helped me to seek help. If those people hadn't been there, who knows how bad it would have been for me.

    In the end I decided to leave an extremely stressful job, which although wasn't the cause in itself, was the straw that broke the camels back so to speak. I moved to a new town, and made a new start. It was the best thing I could have done at the time. Thankfully I had options to get out of the situation I was in. Some people feel completely trapped by their circumstances, and see no way out.

    I truly feel for his family and I hope they have the strength to pull through this truly terrible situation.

  3. I agree with livingmyrichlife. The outward signs may not be apparent to the rest of the world. For me, my age alone was my mask. No one had a clue what was going on with me. When you have to appear at work and “save face” everyday for instance, its easy for people not to notice unless someone is very close to you.

  4. My condolences. I absolutely agree that "no job, no relationship or anything is worth getting yourself to a place where you have given up all hope for life." Several weeks ago in the Bay Area, this man killed 3 coworkers after he was laid off from his job. He had 3 children and his wife also stayed at home. I still don't understand what would cause someone to go to that extreme and take someone's life over a job.

  5. Oh my God, how horrible, just terribly sad. I'm so sorry for everyone involved.

  6. @ Money Minder, Jen & Saver Queen--

    I can't even begin to imagine how his wife is dealing with her grief and how she is managing with explaining to the children what has happened.

    He didn't leave a note so no one may ever know what was going on.

    @ livingmyrichlife & Carla--

    As for depression--I've had my go at that one too some years back. It can be such a tricky thing because of how it can sneak up on you and the more "professional" the mask is, the harder it can be to detect until Everything becomes so gray...

    Congratulations to you both for pulling out of it. It is one tough battle with yourself, for yourself! Leaves you way stronger afterwards!