Monday, March 22, 2010

Humans Behaving Poorly

In light of my recent trip to and finding out about the emergency in Iceland, I found my tolerance of "humans behaving badly" particularly difficult and missing. Unfortunately, we were privy to 3 examples of it this weekend.

First one: A complaint from a "friend" (no longer the case) came via email about a visit 6 months ago about how my being tired after working took away from their visit and had they known just how tired I was going to be, they would have changed their plans. Excuse me? They invited themselves and knew both D and I were working that week....had my car to drive around in and all the food they could eat and their own room and bathroom and got to spend the weekend at our cottage. Ungrateful? I think so. Surprised that they cannot find a mate? Not anymore. I've been getting a very skewed side of the story all these years.

Second one: A complainer who sits around expecting everybody else to cater to their needs but does not reciprocate. They literally will not do their own grocery shopping even though they are able and then moves on to complain about how they have no food and how terrible their world is. This person has been a widow for 50 years and still does not drive. They love talking to you but will only do so when you call them long distance and will keep you on the phone for hours. Money isn't an issue but expects you to pay for lunch when you drive over 1 hr each way to visit. I no longer feel sorry for them.

Third one: Family members who are disrespectful to your home and are here to eat and drink you out of house and home. A tough one. They bring half dead flowers and wine you cannot drink because it is so bad. They drop food all over themselves and the floor. They start eating before everyone has made it to the table. They drink your alcohol non stop and forget to bring their own. They watch loud movies into the wee hours of the morning when they know people are trying to sleep. And they don't bring gifts when the visit was supposed to be for the exchange of gifts. But they are angry because their son got married in Mexico and no one has bothered to send a card and gift when on one was invited. (But people ought to out of respect for them...) And they leave things behind that they expect you to courier to them asap.

Well that's our 3. We are going to make sure not to fall into these traps again. Life is just too short to spend it on such ungrateful emotional and financially time wasters.


  1. Hi Middleway

    I've been away from the computer for a few days and have just read your posts and saw the pictures on your trip to Iceland. It sounds like you had a great adventure and those photos are breath taking. It's really sad isn't it when our friends and family don't appreciate the things they have, especially when there are so many disasters happening everywhere these days it seems. We truly are lucky to be living the lives we do and we really need to take a step back and appreicate how lucky we really are.

  2. I'm sure the people in your examples do not think they've done anything wrong. =) Most people think they are right; at least that's usually the case.

    While pulling a full cart of mulch out of Lowe’s yesterday, a large black SUV began backing up right when J, the kids, and I were right behind it (I didn’t even notice it until that point). I reached out, gently knocked the back twice to let him know we’re there, and the car stopped. After we arrived at our car, the back SUV drove by & the driver gave us a mean stare as if telling us that we should not have been behind his car when he was backing out. Is it our fault that we happened to be walking by & not knowing that he was going to back up? I didn’t stare at him for backing up & nearly crushing my entire family…

  3. You do know some weird ones thats for sure.
    My pet hates are people who spend all their money on things which I would consider wasteful, and then complain they are broke. Just join up the dots.....

  4. Hi Sue!

    Thanks! I too think it boils down to lack of gratefulness and not appreciating enough.

    Hi Sandra!

    Yup, no one does what they think is wrong.

    We can all use some self reflection time -- to check and cross check how we are actually coming across to others with how we think we are coming across.

    I am so glad you and your family wasn't hurt.

    Hi Lizzie!

    It does seem that way, doesn't it? It also makes me think I'm a bit of a pushover even though I didn't think I was. I guess I sometimes have too much hope for people.

  5. With friends like these, who needs enemies? Being a hermit sounds more rewarding.

  6. @ Anonymous -- The sad thing is 2 out of the 3 examples are family whom we don't see often (thank goodness). It is a great thing I have a lot of hermit in me!