Sunday, February 1, 2009

The Gap (no, not the store...)

Have you noticed an increasing gap in certain relationships because of frugality? We certainly have. It was subtle at first but as we are gaining momentum from increasing our savings and debt reduction, it is becoming glaring.

Here are a few examples from this week.

  • One of my staff member struggling to feed her family ie. afford to buy milk after all the bills are paid.
  • A colleague of D's who "treated" himself to a brand new BMW 5-series (a long time dream car of mine...) has put it up for sale merely 2 months later at a pretty good discount.
  • Me, declining numerous invites for dinners out to really nice restaurants because I have a budget for eating out now.

I am changing. So my relationships are being changed because of it. We are hosting more dinner parties at home. We have enough luxuries in our life that we are not feeling deprived if we cut out some daily, weekly or monthly habits.

Our life just looks different at first glance now. But on the inside, there is peace knowing that we do not have to worry about putting food on the table, or have to return a purchase after the fact, or feel bad or guilty for missing out.


  1. Hi Middle Way,

    I was happy to read this. When you can feel the change inside, then you know it's really happening. And you know what? You won't change back. That's the good news.

    Once I realised the freedom and joy of not having to worry about money, I knew life had changed and would not be the same. And you're right - it's not about being ostentatiously rich. It's about going to sleep not worrying whether next month's bills will be paid, and knowing that because of your habits, you can check your bank balance and never worry that it's worryingly low. It's the little things that make you feel on top of the world.

    I've set bigger goals now - to travel anywhere anytime without worrying about the cost. Now that's going to take some creativity and work me harder than just being able to pay the bills! :)

    I'm glad you're on this journey too. It's fun doing it with others!

  2. I've just started helping out a friend from the office with her financial situation. She's earning good money, but spends it all and more. She's also in a lot of debt. I've been offering to help her sort out her finances for the last six months, but it's taken until now for her to finally seek help.

    I think it's a great step and I hope that our lifestyle rubs off on her a little. I think she sees how much we get to travel, even though we spend very little.

  3. Interesting, Middle Way. I have noticed a slight gap with certain relationships. I know that we were very hesitant to tell most people about my suprise gift to my husband at christmas time because I didn't want people to feel bad. I surprised him with a motorcycle. but the backstory is that we saved up for 2 years for it. And we waited until a winter to find a great deal on a bike. I just surprised my hubby with it this year. some friends wrinkled their noses but they don't realize how much savings we had done in preparation. so we declined to mention it to the rest.

  4. Hi Daphne!

    You are right. There is not looking back! I love your travel goal! My version is to be able to fly first class whenever we are going overseas. The next version will be akin to yours!

    Hi livingmyrichlife!

    Your friend is very fortunate to have enlisted your help. You will be a great inspiration, that's for sure! I'm glad she is finally taking you up for it. People have to be ready before any change can have a chance.

    Hi Julie!

    What a fabulous gift! Good for you guys for planning and making it happen. I do not see why people (especially friends) would not be thrilled to hear about it?! I for one, am inspired! And, you shouldn't be made to feel less happy for all of the discipline and hard work that went into making it into a reality. That's just wrong and not nice.